For the first half of my stitching life I pretty much always completed projects I started. No matter how badly I messed up, no matter how much I came to hate the project. I may have stopped working on them for awhile or I may not have turned them into stuff, but I resolutely kept stitching on them because I thought you had to finish what you began.
Then in the late 90’s I met Father B. You probably know him as the author of the various Father B’s Books of Stitches, but he was a regular in a chat room I ran at the time and we became friends. He offered lots of good advice about stitching.
The best thing he ever told me was to give me permission to quit working on a project.
He said you should have a goal with every project you do, even if it is just to try this new stitch. If it’s accomplished, then you have met your goal and you can stop stitching it if you want to. You can also stop stitching if you find yourself not liking the project.
I can bring three examples immediately to mind. The first was a workshop held by my ANG chapter featuring Hilton Stitches. These stitches and I do not get along well. I figured it was because I had tried to learn from books and that it would be different with a live teacher. It was, she taught well. I learned the stitches and I learned something else — I don’t like Hilton Stitches. Having accomplished my goal, I abandoned the project happily.
The other one you see pictured at the top of this article (you can get the project here). Orange is my least favorite color. This project was an attempt on my part to conquer my dislike of orange. I went to my LNS and bought an assortment of orange threads. The background is all Tent Stitches in squares using the various threads. I did not abandon the project because I ended up liking it. What did I learn? That I could like orange. It is not my favorite color but I know how to use it now and no longer avoid it.
The last is an idea I’ll com back to at some point. In the past I have done projects with metallic backgrounds an hated the way they overwhelmed the piece. This does not happen in Japanese screens (pictured above). They have the same combination of metallic background and flat focal point, but the background does not overwhelm. I started a project to accomplish this, but very early on I found I disliked the design and that it was not working. It’s been abandoned. I continue to think of how to accomplish this effect but will start on a smaller scale.
I try to put this advice into every piece I do. Because we needlepoint to relax, to relieve stress, to be creative, and to learn, we should be happy to give up a project that has accomplished its goals if we like.
About Janet M Perry
Janet Perry is the Internet's leading authority on needlepoint. She designs, teaches and writes, getting raves from her fans for her innovative techniques, extensive knowledge and generous teaching style. A leading writer of stitch guides, she blogs here and lives on an island in the northeast corner of the SF Bay with her family
I like your piece today. Does that count for pieces that once you sit down to start them, you ask yourself, “what was I thinking???” How do you recommend getting these pieces into the hands of someone who would either like to finish them or start and finish them? I find that I am holding onto things because I spent the money and can’t bear the idea of simply donating them to Goodwill, etc. just to get them out of the house. Thanks for your insights on this and your other pieces!
You are so right! I am not fond of Hilton Stitches or orange or all those geometric using elaborate counted stitches. Stitching should be fun – so don’t work with designs, threads ( I hate neon rays), or Stitches you don’t like. Bundle them off to goodwill where someone else can love them. That goes for the stitching police as well.
Oh gosh – so glad to know someone else doesn’t enjoy/like Hilton stitches. I mostly do counted canvas work and am finding more and more patterns including these stitches. I avoid them and find a replacement stitch to do instead!
I also hate to see a project end (just like with a good book) so I rarely leave any blank canvas, so I fill every little bit.
Majorie —
That’s a great question. See if the guild chapters in your area have auctions. One near me does every couple of years. I have bought lots of partial stitched (and unstitched) canvases there. The great thing about them is that it’s a “What was I thinking?” piece toy, but perfect to someone else.
Many of them are classified as 501(c)3 organizations, so you can get write-off as well.
If there are none in your area, consider consigning them, or giving them to Rittenhouse Needlepoint’s charity program.
Keep stitching,
Janet
Your wise comments can be applied other areas of our lives. We should not consider ourselves failures if we completely stop what we are doing or change things up a bit. I remember as a child, working a crewel embroidery kit. Even though the instructions mentioned that I was to use a specific color and stitch in an area, I did something else. Even though I had to buy more yarn, I remember being happy with the final product. When I am cooking, I might read the recipe, but often might make adjustments. We are the drum majors of our own marching bands!
I belong to give stitching groups and we are all having stash sales. Janet, thanks for permission to clear out some of my false starts.
Oops, five stitching groups. Tablet speak!
I just cleaned out my UFOs and they are going to our local sale which won’t be for another year.
Keep stitching,
Janet